You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize
