were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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