Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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