Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
