Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize