i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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