If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I skipped work to stalk him.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
