I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
