I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
