bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
