Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
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Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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