Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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