next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
