So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
