Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
