We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
