she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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