If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
