names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize