just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
