The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
