she was so not down for the gang bang
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
