idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
