So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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