Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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