His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
