The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
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