Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize