you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
