That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize