Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize