You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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