My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
