I smell stomach acid.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
this beer tastes like vomit already
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
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I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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