We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Couch. On fire.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.