hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
