I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Couch. On fire.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
