wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
