is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
