she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
