Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
