honey bunches of taint.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The air taste purple.
Randomize
