jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
