I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
