Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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