The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
