Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Pooping to opera.
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