Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
