when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
