is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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