Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
