Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
