I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I believe in your delicious
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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