There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
