How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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