doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
