I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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