I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
