I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
