so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
