You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
