Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
